Men wife watching fantasy-Are Some Fantasies Better Kept A Fantasy?

The latest contribution to the issue is from the Masters and Johnson Institute in a recent article on their treatment program for dissatisfied homosexuals. Researchers at the institute believe that whether a person has homosexual fantasies or heterosexual ones cannot be used as an indication of actual sexual preference. They cite evidence showing the frequency of homosexual fantasies among heterosexuals and heterosexual ones among homosexuals. In the current issue of The American Journal of Psychiatry, Mark Schwartz and William Masters report a survey of men and women, half of them homosexual and half heterosexual, showing that people's sexual fantasies can be at odds with their sexual orientation. People tend to be selective in their recall of their own fantasies.

Men wife watching fantasy

Men wife watching fantasy

Men wife watching fantasy

Men wife watching fantasy

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Men wife watching fantasy

Men wife watching fantasy

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Her Husband's "Ultimate" Fantasy Is a Big Ask - Slog - The Stranger

The latest contribution to the issue is from the Masters and Johnson Institute in a recent article on their treatment program for dissatisfied homosexuals. Researchers at the institute believe that whether a person has homosexual fantasies or heterosexual ones cannot be used as an indication of actual sexual preference. They cite evidence showing the frequency of homosexual fantasies among heterosexuals and heterosexual ones among homosexuals.

In the current issue of The American Journal of Psychiatry, Mark Schwartz and William Masters report a survey of men and women, half of them homosexual and half heterosexual, showing that people's sexual fantasies can be at odds with their sexual orientation. People tend to be selective in their recall of their own fantasies. To get a full record, David Barlow, director of the Sexuality Research Program at the State University of New York at Albany, asked people to carefully monitor their fantasies for several weeks.

Schwartz and Dr. Masters report a similar variety of sex fantasies in the people they studied. Extrapolating from Dr. Barlow's data to the lists reported by Dr. While the content of a sexual fantasy does not make it abnormal, its frequency can indicate a psychological problem. Barlow reported that in people with psychiatric problems, such as rapists and child molesters, the frequency of fantasies is extremely high, often a constant obsession throughout the day.

How much does the actual content of a fantasy matter? Many sex therapists argue that it does not matter much as long as it proves useful for a couple in lovemaking. Schwartz, for six years director of research at the Masters and Johnson Institute and now a marital and sex therapist in New Orleans, said in an interview: ''If a man loses his arousal while making love with his wife, and uses a fantasy to get it back, then lets go of the fantasy to focus on the lovemaking again, it's irrelevant what the fantasy is about.

It's a helpful bridge back to making love, and increases the couple's intimacy. Bernard Apfelbaum, director of the Berkeley Sex Therapy Group, said, ''It's important to look at the content of a sex fantasy during lovemaking for what it suggests about what's missing in the sexual encounter. On closer scrutiny, what is important in the fantasy is Raquel Welch's attitude: She's aroused by him, uncritical, accepting.

That's really a message about what he's missing from his wife. That's material to use in therapy for the couple. Schwartz said. About a third of women have had a history of some kind of sexual trauma, he said, and as a result, during lovemaking they may dissociate, separating their feelings from their acts.

This sometimes takes the form of a sex fantasy that creates a psychological distance from their partner. Schwartz said, ''can reveal such problems with intimacy. For instance, during lovemaking with his wife, a man's fantasies could range from imagining his wife, to fantasies about his secretary, to watching someone else make love, to the sort of impersonal sex that's in porno movies.

Each of those fantasies along the gradient represents a increasing psychological distance from the relationship. Schwartz added, ''is when people use a fantasy to maintain or increase the distance between them.

After 30 years of marriage, a man or woman may replace the spouse with someone else in their fantasies. If he or she has to fantasize someone else while making love, then the relationship needs help. Barlow said. He, like many other sex therapists, believes that, if a year fantasy helps in lovemaking, then there is no harm in it. Nor does he believe that fantasies are always acted out. Barlow said, ''it's a very idealized, even romantic act, something like the rape scene in 'The Fantastiks,' '' perhaps somewhat stylized and removed.

And that can mean trouble. Or if the fantasy is of something like transvestism, and the wife is not accepting, then the person has to decide between his sexual preference and his marriage. You have to look both at their behavior and their fantasies. Barlow said, ''are a primary indicator of a person's sexual orientation. However, that view is at odds with the recent report from the Masters and Johnson Institute. Masters argue that having a given fantasy - even with some frequency - does not define a person's sexual orientation; for example, having homosexual fantasies does not mean that a person is homosexual.

Thus, even if a person had homosexual experiences in the past and fantasized about them, but preferred heterosexual partners, he should be considered a heterosexual. The implication for therapy is that, for such a person, it would be appropriate to use sex therapy to change his sex life and fantasy patterns to fit his preference.

The institute takes the position that a person's previous sexual experiences and fantasies do not dictate his sexual orientation in an unalterable way. Only homosexuals who are distressed by their sexual orientation are given a psychiatric diagnosis and considered in need of therapy.

Schwartz said, ''we try to change the person's sexual behavior. When that changes, the fantasy change will follow. For example, a homosexual man may be dissatisfied with the shallowness of his relationships with his male lovers, and decide he wants to be with a woman.

If he forms an intimate sexual relationship with a woman, his fantasy pattern will change. Richard Isay contended that a person who has homosexual fantasies, but does not actively engage in homosexual activity, is homosexual - even if his homosexual fantasies are unconscious.

Isay said in an interview. They may have gone through the change just because of social pressures, or even to please the therapist. Isay continued. If the change produces no problems in the long run, then the patient was probably not really a homosexual in the first place.

But a therapist can't make that judgment without taking his fantasies into account. Schwartz said, ''is that we have very, very little good research about people's sexual fantasies. If you ask a random sample, people lie a lot. And a clinical population just is not representative.

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Problems With Intimacy ''Sex fantasies,'' Dr.

Men wife watching fantasy

Men wife watching fantasy